I met this kid named Sebastian tafreshi, called him 2fresh. 2fresh and i grew close relatively quick. He was just like me, we had the same interests, we were both easygoing andd all we wanted was for people to be happy. through 2fresh i met a whole buncha kids, freddie, spencer, tony, adrian, kris, pat and many many more.
Round January i got invited to freddie's party. From then on, all of us were pretty muc ha crew. we chilled everyday(even though this was chicago and i lived in des plaines, id drive almost everyday) AT freddie's party i met ANOTHER girl named amanda
i really liked herr and for a while i thought she did too, but then one day she said "i dont want to hurt you, because yer such a nice guy and I always end up hurting people so i cant see you. blah blah) ya know, grrrl bullshyt. that was the end of that amanda...kinda
Anyway, freddie started to date a girl named drewsy, beause i guess they were drunk one night n ya know..hah., and like 2 weeks later she brought her friend. and her friend's name was AMANDA. amanda and i both liked eachother, but I guess it wasnt obvious to that prick Freddie(more on him later) and he cheated on his girlfriend with my amanda. what made it worse was that amanda was drewsy's bestfriend. soo freddie,one of my bestfriends at the time fucks me over and pretends like he didnt know. I forgave of course. bros before hoes.. I moved to wheeling from des plaines in April. In may i stopped taking my anti-depressents for round 2 weeks, my mom got my ds in college and i had a bitch ass manager at Vans. I went to the hospital for attemptd suicide. heh. I later learned her name was trixy back in the day, because she'd do shyt for drugs, if only i knew that, i coulda shut her mouth up sooo many times. As summer began freddie, kris, and spencer and I got really tight, we played mariokart 64 almost everyday and then this kid Ahmad came back from jordan. ahmad was a fucking awesome kid..think of Luke, but half arab/white. We all started to be voulchers. On good days we'd be ale to smoke around 4-5 times and not even have to pay for it cuz we'd latch on, smoke and go, not the best of things, but we did smoke those people up later. The first great divide began in the crew. 2fresh found himself a girlfriend named diana(2fresh, you soooo know you coulda done better, but as long as yer happy). Freddie kicked adrian out* of the crew, tony began to do more sports and had hockey practice while 2fresh hung out with his gf. So it was spencer, kris, ahmad, freddie and myself. and it would be for the next 4-5 months. We all chilled and smoked, thats all we did all summer. sometimes skating n playing basketball. thats it. I left for Spain/Portugal August 3. Spain n portugal are beautiful countries. the coffee is 4x stronger in spain and 6x stronger in portugal. and tcheck this out..if they wrote something to eachother. 90f it would be understandable by both countries, but when they speak to eachother, they dont understand a damn thing, how this happens..whacky asss portugal accents. In spain, theres like 4 official languages, but the one everyone uses is Catilian(spanish, duuh). THE GIRLS ARE SO HOT, OMG OMG OMG. no offense buttt american girls have nothing on them, NOTHING..well, theres some. =P. ohh and you can smoke pretty much anywhere, malls. cafes, outsid,e inside, and ciggs are 1.50-1.70. the countries were beautiful places. I came back to America o nthe 21st of august. I was soo excited to see all my crew that i soon as i got back, i drove like 50 miles down a 35mph round jus to see them. it was a great night bac. and then on 2am on my way back home i got hit by some fucking drunk ass immigranyt named Juan. He fucked my baby up(car #3) and i had to go to physical therapy for 2 months for my neck cuz of his STUPID ASS. Anyway, 2 weeks later i got a mitsubishi diamante LE CAR #4(very comfortable car, even though its gay ass v-6 got 16 mpg). and i drove that, twas a fine car. 5 daysafter getting it. i have a car full of me crew and im stupid soo i decide to test how fast it could go, so im going down an alley and press the gas. shytt went vroooom, and at the end of the alley, theres a car coming, and like a fucking RETARD this car slows down and stops right at the end of the alley when it coulda just kept going and everything woulda been fine. anyway. I hit that car and totalled my 4th car. 5 days after ghetting it. My parents werent please and for about 2 months i used my moms car and payed freddie about 5 dollars everytime to drive me hhome..16 mile drive. for 5 dollars. yeah, sad really. Anyway, i did a lot of searching and found a nice 5.0L mustang lx(CAR #5), custom painted blue n yellow. That was one of the best, iff not the best car ive had so far. It was loud, it was sleeek, it was beautiful. My mom somehow managed to haggle the guy(i smoked weed with him right before my mom got there, he was a cool man) from 2500 to 1800. and this was a steal, the only thing that was missing was the stereo and the backseats(ffor weight reduction). anywaay, things were fine for a month, and then one day. freddie did coke. he did it and loved it. he got all of us to try it. I didnt do anything for me except wake me up at 3am, beat a couple asses in mariokart and go to sleep, but they all started doing it. eventually thats all they started to do more and more and out weed fund was getting cut by coke, which i didnt even do, so why the fuck should i have to throwdown? i came less and less. and according to freddie, i was only coming forr weed. anywaaay, this one day kris needed to be picked up and freddie's greeedy ass didnt wanna drive. so i let jhim drive MY car to picked him up, on our way back he hit something and my car started to make a chunking noise and he burned my fucking seat. I totally didnt say anything cuz i thought it wuld be oka. So 3 days later, it was October 23th..naw, fuck it, ill jus copy n paste my next two journal entries regarding the subject:
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
i havent been taken my anti-depressentss and soo i gotts so much stuff inside meee that is fucking ripping me apart.
EVERYTHING has gone to shyt. i've been thinking soo much about the past couple months and how sad it makes me.
I've losttt Liz as my bestfriend, i fucking miss her soo much, we used to be like brother n sister and nowww it's likee...i see her 5 minutes a week. I remember a time when we wouldnt miss a day without seeing eachother, sometimes we even hung out for a whole 24 hourss and we never got bored, but then that all changed, and im still hurting forr those days.
and then i had a new bestfriend, 2fresh. i told that fucking nigga everything and i seriously considered him like my bro, we got our eyebrows done together and everything, but then heee started hanging out with diana and i saw less and less of him, and i was like =(, now i dont see him at ALL, it's like diana-24/7. whateverrr, i know he's happpy with her.
and then we have the CrEw(SMI) yeaah, i dunno bout you guys lately. im getting tired of sitting and smoking weed while playing mario kart. it was fine for the first couple months but now it's like. fuuuck that. sometimes i feel that the fuel wasnt worth it. i seriously dont think i get any respectt at all. im screwed outta everything, half the fucking time you guys just leave and im like wtf and i wait and wait. and then 2 hours later you guys come back. well fuck that. im fucking hurt by everyone. GET UP AND OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR for me, dont play yer fucking "not it games". i open the dooor asap butt when it comes to me, lets try to get out of it as much as possible. especially yesterday. nobody fucking wanted to get in my car, jus for a short ride, and then back, i went alone. i asked someone to come with me to pick up kris(something i shouldnt even have to do ya fuck) and i got no volunteers. not until freddie(y) actually asked to DRIVE my car to pick him up did someone want to come. then he fucking abused my carr, there were 4 peple in my car and it was floooooooooooored, my gas is gone. fuckyou guys. thats why i left.
shyt jus escalates, and it probably iss my fault for not expressing my feelings, butr the thing is, i dont feel like i can. i dont have anyone i can do that with anymore.
im getting a new computer in two weeks, imma buy a whole buncha video-games and jus play them non-stop. i'lll be saving sooo much gas and ill be playing with people that have a connection to me.
when things goo perfect for me, they jus arent meant to. so everything fucks up. maybe i really jus dont deserve to be happy. i do everything wrong, whyyy the fuck cant i jus bee normal. ii cantt communicate with anyone, jus like i couldnt before.
when i get up, i really dont have anything to look foward to. thank god these days go soo fast. why doess violent music make me happy? cuzz thats the shyt in my head built up year by year.
im sorry i cant bee what any of you want of me.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
fuck you freddie!!!!!!!
p0stal Imp (1:37:40 AM): freddie was buzzed and high and he was talking bout some shyt and i mentioned how he burned my carr seat with a cigerette and he started saying how it was there and shyt and then how i talked shyt bout him online and i told him he did fuck with my car, he told me to get out and i left home. thats it
X (1:39:03 AM): he burnt ur seat??
p0stal Imp (1:40:47 AM): heee made a fucking cigerette hole in my car seat and then he said he didnt do it, and then he said he did but it was there before in the exact same spot. think about it, why would they put a cover over it if there was a burn spot on it. i know it wasnt there before. you were driving kris manda and me in my car and your cigerette fell on the seat, youu were like shyt shyt shyt!!!! and then he's like, welll dont ask me to drive your car when yer fucked up, ad yeaah, blah blah blah, you drive like a granny.. i almost snapped.
I drive my car slow so i can save gas you stupid asss fuck, i understand that it dont matter to you cuz it aint yer shyt. you're a blame shifter to the max. drove my car cuz his carrrr stoppped in the middle of the road without gas and we went back to my car to drive to the gas stattion to get his car some gas. i drank a forty like a half hour earlier. i didnt wanna fuckin drive.asshole
I have observed you anddd youu dont really care about anyone but yourself.
you treat your mom like shyt and say that you deserve something for going to schoool? newsflash: you go to school for yourself not your mom. she doesnt owe you shyt, you shouldda been hit many many times when you were growing up. when ahmad tries to tell you you're wrong, like last saturday, you snappedat him. blah blah blah. you WERE wrong. you're wrong a lot of thetime and we dont tell you cuz we're yer friends, most of all, cuz you snap. stop rushing into shytt sooo fast. you'll get yours dude.
ive never fuckedyou over yet you've fucked me over at least twice. I guess itll always be like that, cuz you cant handle any other opinion than yerself.
anyway, happy birthday Spencer, hope your day went, cuz mine didnt.
And that was pretty much the last time i talked to them, well. they called me over back in october 30th and then again on thanksgiving. SO ONCE AGAIN, i got screwed by a person i thought was my bestfriend when i didnt do a damn thing. its cuz i depend on friendship ytoo muc hand people know they can fuck my life up by ending a friendship with me. ohh ,and it was quite convenient that once i left freddie got his 12k from an autoaccident. fucking asshole spent it all in 4 months. on coke. heh.
anyway, about the time i got srwed out of the crew I met a girl named monika(dominika-her real name) and she was all like blah blah blah i like you blah blah. and SHE eventually asked me out. like 3 days later. Wow, she was a horny girl. we had sex everywhere, library parking lot, elevator stairs ANNND on the elevator. but guess what. she wasnt just horny wiyth me. she was apparently horny with lik e4 other fucking guys while dating me. yeah, bitch. and then shee ws like im sorry, blah blah. you dont understand i love yeewww, so i took her back and she fucked another guy..AGAIN the next week. yeah. bitch. ohh, and she told me she was 18 and a senior, where later i found out she was 15 and a freshman. i fucking hate shyt like that. i was 19 mind you. 2 onths away from being 20. OHH, and btw.
thats her.. she goes through boyfriends like i go through kleenex, call her a slut..cuz thats what she is.
I also gained a friend named Craig, craig and i smoked weed everyday, and it was convenient. and he's cool. so thats how that happened. we also chilled with abbey and emily. so i suppose that was the crew. theres nothing in between. I basically worked, got a new car.(CAR #6), went to school and smoked tons of weed. thats it. I met this girl named Joanna and like a week later we went out. joanna was a really nice girlfriend, she was also my first EVER valentine. soo ya know..mad sex that night. haha. jojo <3. Joanna and i broke up around Feb 28th i think. something like that. I dunno. she didnt like weed, and i did it all the time. I felt like crap everytime i did it, cuz joanna was soo sweet to mee and she'd call me her baby n everything. yeah, so thats about it
About a month ago i started chillin with dan n edgar, and thas prett much what i do. play sega, watch aqua team, family guy, n laugh. and it feels great to have friendship again. ohh, and htis kid "Dan mothercuking C" got his ass kicked last nite at dan's party. and god liked it. and it was good. and i drank 11 shots, and yeah. theresagirlilike. shh.
ohh, and this is freddie:
dont even try to start anything. from what i hear..karma got him good. he's now stealing money for his coke addiction. fucking retard.